Better Things

Something bizarre is happening to me. Ever since I posted that last blog entry, the one about how I was going change my outlook on life, I have felt...different. I woke up the following morning in an extremely good mood (one which I haven't yet managed to shake off despite being in the midst of hay fever) which resulted in a strange walk into town where I was constantly trying to resist the temptation to break into dance; we are talking full-on west end musical dancing as well. I'm not sure what it is but for some reason I have this feeling that everything is about to go my way. I'm not trying to brag or anything, but I am relieved, it is nice to regain that euphoric feeling and self confidence that I believe I used to have.

I feel like a weight has been lifted, but I can't figure out what. I am still obsessing over the same trivial details and I still carry the same regrets, but now I seem to have reconditioned myself into seeing them as learning experiences rather than being negative. Things I used to think of with a certain reluctance have changed in my view. I seem to be forgiving myself and at the same time coming to terms with the fact that if I was to go back to these events I wouldn't change the way I had acted. Indeed I have begun to look more at the positive in these situations, and the good times as well, as opposed to the negativity I used to seek. I can feel the benefits already, my new frame of mind is encouraging me to take up a more healthy lifestyle and my new confidence is a welcome change.

For now I hope this lasts.

Rob
x

One Month Off

Wow...It has been almost a month since I updated this thing, so much for my empty promise of being able to write more due to my new-found free time. It appears I have slipped into a rather horrific routine of doing absolutely nothing, well actually that's not entirely true I have done the odd bit of job hunting and going to interviews, but given that I still need to figure out a research area for next year's major project I really should be doing more. I have a few ideas but need to get off my arse and make phone calls to start the ball rolling. With the dawning realisation that I am close to getting into a routine that could ruin my Summer, and ultimately my third year I need to give myself a kick start and not just with my project (although that is the most important thing to get onto) I also need to kick start my life again and head outside...into that glorious sunshine we seem to be blessed with, especially while I am still jobless.

Consider this a real promise, not an empty one, consider this my new philosophy, not my old one.

Until next time (which hopefully will be sooner rather than later)

I Hear You, But I'm Not Afraid Of You

My second year of University has ended; in true style it ended with a sudden burst, a last gasp attempt at correcting the mistakes of my poor planning and from the ensuing wreckage I emerged with my sanity almost fully intact. The last three weeks have been a bit of a blur and have usually consisted of waking at 7.30am getting to Uni for 8.45am and working there until 9pm I would then continue to work until around midnight. As a result I have been living in a kind of half-conciousness that isn't a good thing to be in for more than a few days, but four deadlines and 2 and a bit weeks later I am finally out of it.

Now I have chance to slow down, catch my breath and resume what life I have. I have few plans on what to do between now and the beginning of the third year but I fully intend to make this Summer as great as possible.

Rob out!

You Can't Go Home Again

It may be a clichéd idea, but it's true you never realise just how much something means to you until you lose it; this is something I have had to deal with today as I learned that my parents have lost the family home and it is to be repossessed in 28 days. The home in which I have spent the first 20 years of my life is now to become someone else's and we have to find somewhere new to live. Whilst I am living (for the most part) in Leicester, I still feel a strong tie to that house because it has always been the place I call home, after a year of living in my accommodation in Leicester I can't say that it feels like a 'home' to me...it is just a place I live, it doesn't hold the same meaning that the house in Francis Road has.

I last visited home for the first week of my Easter Holidays and my parents had already explained to me that they were facing court proceedings over the house as they had fallen behind on the mortgage. While I was home the conversation was never far from the subject and my parents had already begun looking for new accommodation, rented houses mainly, and the general consensus was that whether we won the case or not we would be moving to a new place.

The UK recession has hit the family quite hard especially due to the apparent death of the UK construction industry due to which my dad lost his job. He was out of work for around three months, which is a very long time for my dad as he has rarely been out of work since I was born, in fact he states that he has rarely been jobless since leaving school. We know at this point that it was going to be tough keeping up with bills after losing a £40,000 a year job (he had been working in London before becoming un-employed and for once it appeared that everything was going our way) Jobseeker's allowance didn't help as that gradually decreased, luckily though he found work in a factory for Minimum wage and whilst it was better than the 10p a week he was due to be getting by now from the Government (this is no exaggeration, he really was told he would be getting 10p a week jobseeker's) it was still a lot less than what we were used to. This just highlighted the fact that my parents could no longer afford to keep us living in the family house; whether we won in court or not.

My parents had managed to get themselves in a good position to get a council house and we also looked at privately rented homes as well, somewhere in the back of our minds we believed that the court would go easy on us and allow us to stay, for me in particular that house is part of who I am. We even saw a small glimmer of hope as my dad managed to get himself a better paid job working for some locksmiths, but it was never to be. Looking back we should have realised that given the current climate banks are going to be forceful in regards to money and at the end of the day they won. My mum told me, before bursting into tears, that GE Money had already repossessed 13 houses recently, they now had enough for a small estate agency.

My parents have taken it hard, I have too, but it is a lot worse for them, as my mum said 'it feels as though they have let us down'. Of course they haven't, they have done everything they can to keep us where we are, somehow I think it has been an inevitable event, we have never been that secure with finances, but this was the first time we faced repossession. I understand that it might be hard for my parents to find a new place to call home, but I have assured them that I will be happy anywhere, I know they have been looking at two bedroom houses because they are cheaper meaning that I would have to sleep on the sofa when I visit, but my dad is adamant that will get a three bedroom to ensure that I always have a room, another example of them putting the family before finances, and for that I admire them...that is why I am always proud to call them my parents.

Rob -x-

p.s. I am heading off to Milan tomorrow with some of my course mates for the Furniture Fair and when I return I hope to have a more upbeat post.

Earth Hour

As I write this we are just under half an hour away from Earth Hour in the UK an incredible idea, and one that seems to be capturing the imagination. For those unaware of what I'm talking about (where have you been?) the idea is simple. At 8.30pm Local Time you are encouraged to turn off all your lights for one hour, plunging the world into a Mexican wave of darkness in order to bring the discussion of Climate Change to the fore once again, especially with discussions in Copenhagen happening this year to plan for after the Kyoto Treaty.

I like many people will be taking part (its ridiculously easy so everyone should be) and will be spending an hour in the dark...no idea what I am going to do yet, but I was tempted to buy candles...perhaps I might take a walk...

Rob out!

It Overtakes Me

I went home this weekend, both to see my Mum for Mothers Day and also to wish my Sister a Happy Birthday as she turns 17 this Thursday. I had already resigned myself to the fact that I would not get any work done, somehow going home brings out my laziest characteristics. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the break, I'm pretty sure I needed it; but now I am back in Leicester I truly regret it.

My journey home was surprisingly relaxing, I managed to get a good seat on the train from Leicester, with a table as well, and so I settled down; headphones in, book out. The time quickly passed by as stations whizzed near us. I was fully engrossed in the novel I was reading and I felt as though I was in my own comfortable isolation. I put my book away once we reached Coleshill Parkway as New Street was the next stop, and yet I still managed to retain this calm that had encased me for the last 40 minutes. I stared out of the window watching the world speed past, my eyes focused on a gap of light between the shadow of two carriages. I watched as it danced along gravel, glided along the tracks and disappeared as we entered tunnels. I was lost in this mesmerising performance and I felt (and this does sound cliched) like this moment had been created just for me. I'm not the sort of person that usually takes the time to notice things like this, but it just grabbed my attention, in particular the way it synced up with the music I was playing.

The weekend itself passed without incident, of course there was the occasional argument between my Sister and Mum, but they both stayed elsewhere on Saturday, giving Dad and myself some much needed peace and quiet. It was slightly annoying that the two people I had journeyed home to see spent most of the weekend somewhere I wasn't, but it was enjoyable nonetheless.

Rob -x-

What Happened?

Yahoo! unexpectedly made me chuckle earlier today with the following 'featured' story, I didn't read it, but they way they presented it on their site amused me.


I'm pretty sure Yahoo! that you just told me exactly what happened in the description of the news story...

Rob -x-